“I can be what I will to be.” I had to re-read that simple statement before it made sense, as I was leaving out the “to.” Then I could see the importance of letting subby know, in no uncertain terms, that I now choose to be in control. This is so important because of what I read in Master Key 5.6: everything that subby has accepted as truth from every situation I have experienced over all these years “…has been accepted with little or no examination or consideration.” Who knew that our conscious mind was supposed to be the gate keeper, and only let in what is “true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, of virtue, praiseworthy.” Of course, God had very clearly taught us (Philippians 4:8) how to think, but being humans, don’t we always think we know better?
Why this struck me so clearly was my “gut” reaction to a statement in 5.9 about building a home — that we would select only the best of everything. Immediately, my subby jumped up and yelled “No!” The best is too expensive — you can’t afford it, it wouldn’t be right when so many others have so little, etc., etc., etc. Is it possible that growing up around parents and grandparents that had lived through the Great Depression might have influenced what I allowed subby to believe? Wow, do I have a lot of work to do!
As if that weren’t enough of a wake-up call, then I read 5.10 — “if these impressions have been…” (all the negative stuff) there will only be rotten material to weave a new future. One of the clearest memories I have (and I know memories can be deceptive) is hearing “You don’t want to do that,” or “You can do better than that.” But enough of such thinking! Paragraph 5.12 came to my rescue — “The thing to do is to have a mental house-cleaning, every day, and keep the house clean.” So thank you for this MKMMA process, encouraging me to keep scrubbing and dusting and sweeping and disposing of all the “rotten, mildewed” stuff.
But subby did accomplish one amazing, positive thing — woke me up in the middle of the night with my real DMP! Who would have thought that a chance meeting with a stranger at a book store would trigger a memory of what I truly thought in 7th grade would be my life’s work. Another of God’s divine appointments, this was a retired school teacher, and we were looking a display of classics (shades of Emerson!) when she mentioned having taken in a homeless young man who had graduated from foster care and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think of it at the time, but that night, Wham! I clearly remembered one of those “you don’t want to do that” moments when I announced to my family that I wanted to have a boys’ home for kids that had no one to care for them. (I had a good friend then who fit that description, so, viola! the idealism of a young teen!) I guess that desire has always been in the back of my mind (subby?) and now, sweeping away the cobwebs has uncovered that long-forgotten dream.
I am excited to see where this new revelation will lead, as it builds on what I have already been picturing in my life’s movie.
Speaking of Emerson, I see why we have this “no opinion” exercise — (page 12, last paragraph) “Every opinion reacts on him who utters it.” So, if I tell someone they look really nice in that new sweater, is that a compliment (do it) or an opinion (don’t do it)? Just asking … for your opinion?